I’ve tried to accept everything the way Jim wanted it. Ive tried to do everything that made Jim happy. I did it all until I couldn’t do it anymore. Until I couldnt deal with his abuse. I ended the relationship a week ago.
Jim told me i was making the biggest mistake of my entire life and I’d come to regret it. He wanted to continue a sexual relationship and to continue to live together and share a bed. And at first I agreed. I know, I know, it sounds stupid. But I was afraid of his reaction if I said no. For almost a week, he told me how I’d come to my senses soon and id see how wrong I was and we’d be back together. He still kissed me, we still slept together and I was still miserable.
Two days ago I told Jim i want my own room. Im on the lease too and we’re both paying half. Im entitled to my own space. We agreed we’d both stay here so we don’t have the penalties for breaking the lease. As long as im not in danger, that’s what I’m going to do. He started yelling and got very angry that I want my own room. He said im hurting him and that I just don’t care about his feelings.
Today I got the courage to tell him i dont want to continue a sexual relationship. We’re just friends and im not comfortable. He told me he’s moving out then because now its pointless to stay. Then he told me im mentally unstable. He pointed out all of the ways im ruining my life and sabatoging every good thing I have going for me. Later he called me and apologized. He said he’s not leaving because hes not going to hurt himself by breaking the lease. He said he said i was unstable out of anger. There’s always a mind game being played.
There is nothing left to my knowledge that could possibly lead Jim to think i want a relationship with him. I just wish I knew how to avoid the conversations he starts about how I destroyed his life, how im destroying my own life, him rehashing how the last year of our relationship went (his version) , everything I did wrong and my poor judgment and (in his opinion) my poor mental health.
Its the fourth of July. We’re spending it separately. We were both invited to the same party. After this morning’s escapades of him calling me mentally unstable etc, I texted my friend and told her I couldn’t make it. Its the fourth of July and im watching Amazon Prime Video and eating a fresh fruit salad i made. Im by myself and for the first time in a long time, I’m content.
Until Jim comes home
Relationship Abuse 