I had no plans of getting into a new relationship but I wasn’t very good at staying out of one either so I guess it was inevitable that after 3 dates we became a couple.
Jim had been planning to leave the state and start over and follow his dreams to travel. When he left we kept in touch with video chat every night and he called me several times a day too. He bought me a cell phone under his plan because I was paying so much for mine. My mother was sure it was just a way of controlling me and why did we need to be in contact 6 times a day? Mom thought that was a red flag too. Jim was just caring, thoughtful and concerned about my happiness.
So he invited me on a 2 week vacation to visit him. He was going to pay my airfare and everything I needed while I was there. I was so excited and couldn’t wait to spend time together! We had talked about how if the visit went well maybe I’d move with him. I had my kids to think about though so I’d wait until my youngest graduated which was only 1 month away. They lived with their dad anyway and didn’t need me. We went straight from the airport to one of his mom’s condos where we’d be staying for a couple of days. Thats where it all started going wrong.
We had talked about sex before and he had said some weird and disturbing stuff that he wanted to do. I was positive he was joking though. Who would really want to inflict pain and humiliation on someone during sex?? I had been molested, raped, emotionally and verbally abused before but I was not prepared for this. The physical pain, the humiliation and degradation I felt, and when I said stop, when I had tears streaming down my face begging him to stop because he was hurting me, he said ,”I’ll stop when I’m done”. I froze, went limp and prayed for it to be over soon. When he was done I cried and told Jim I wanted to go home. I dont know what happened to me, but I never did go home. I had allowed it to happen and actually stayed! At this point we had only been dating for 2 months.
Relationship Abuse 